


Lying Isn't Easy

by MeganMaeAnne



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Oops, Pre Sterek, i made the sheriff bad in this, im sorry, not really - Freeform, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMaeAnne/pseuds/MeganMaeAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has been lying for almost his whole life</p>
<p>Derek has been watching him just as long</p>
<p>Fate brings them together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lying Isn't Easy

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this poem on Tumblr and I thought of Stiles immediately. 
> 
> http://characterdevelopmentwrites.tumblr.com/post/48175569600/oh-god-this-was-so-hard-to-format-you-have-no 
> 
> I'm so sorry

The first time Stiles told the lie, he was 11. 

He and Scott had gotten into an argument over something trivial and it had been a week of the two not talking when his mother asked if he was okay. He meant to tell her everything that happened because he knew she would listen and help him through it; he didn’t mean to say it, it just tumbled off his lips like it was the easiest thing in the world to say. _“I’m fine.”_ She smiled and told him to go play with Scott since it was such a nice day. Stiles paled, he wasn’t going to take the lie back now so he just agreed and went outside. He sat on the porch swing hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth, crying silently. Suddenly the lie didn’t feel so small anymore. As he repeated it to himself, he could feel the chemical taste it left in his mouth. Almost like the chemicals the doctors were putting into his mother’s body to save her life. He cried harder and hoped she couldn’t hear him from inside. As he cried he saw a boy watching him with a curious look on his face. Stiles just wiped his sleeve across his face and headed back inside, prepared to tell the lie again if his mother asked if he was okay.

Derek had been 16 the first time he laid eyes on his mate. 

Derek was walking home from school when he saw a young boy sitting on small swing, trying his hardest to cover up his tears. Derek’s green eyes met honey brown and that was the moment Derek knew he had to protect this kid from ever getting hurt again. He felt his heart breaking when the kid walked back inside without a second glance back. Derek was determined to find out everything about him, use the information to bring him closer to his mate, and finally have the happily ever after his family had promised him. _“I know you’re not.”_ Derek whispered before continuing on his way.

Stiles was 13 when his mother finally lost her battle with breast cancer. 

Stiles and all his family and almost the whole community, minus the Hales, were at Claudia’s burial. He couldn’t watch but couldn’t look away as several men buried her deep into the ground, the casket still open. She looked so pretty, Stiles had thought, even in death her skin was pale and flawless, her hair still full of shine, her lips still cherry red. Stiles had started crying when they closed the casket. He would never see his mom again, never hear her voice or her laugh, never feel the comfort of a mother’s hug. His dad had put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and looked down at him with tears in his eyes. The two of them were going to have to try damn hard to piece their lives back together without her. Relatives and friends from all over were sobbing and clinging onto Stiles, apologizing profusely and asking him how he was. By the time the ceremony was over, Stiles had said the same lie 128 times. _“I’m fine.”_

Derek had been 18 and ready to leave for college in New York with Laura when the news of Mrs. Stilinski’s death reached the Hale siblings. 

He couldn’t show his face at the funeral, but he stayed in the woods, watching everything from a distance, his eyes trained on Stiles. He longed to go to him, to hold him close and just let him cry it all out while knowing he was loved and taken care of, but he couldn’t, no one was allowed to know, not even Stiles. So Derek opted to whisper words onto the wind that he hoped Stiles could hear. _“I know you’re not.”_ A few times Stiles turned around and looked directly at Derek, although he knew Stiles couldn’t actually see him. Laura had dragged Derek away from the ceremony after Stiles had gone home and told him to forget about Stiles and Kate and Beacon Hills because they were never coming back, they had nothing to come back to.

Stiles was 13 and a half when his father had beaten him to near death while he was drunk. 

He struggled for air as his father’s hands clamped around his neck, cutting off all his air supply. His dad had let Stiles fall with a thud to the floor and the boy was knocked unconscious. Stiles had been used as his father’s punching bag since his mother’s death almost half a year ago. John figured that since his son was already out cold that he wouldn’t feel the blows that were delivered to him. A kick to the ribs, a snap of his wrist, a punch in the eye, and John couldn’t quit, couldn’t stop beating his son because he blamed him for Claudia’s death. 

When John woke up the next morning, hungover but sober, he saw his son’s still unconscious body lying in a heap on the wooden floor. He ran over to Stiles and shook his shoulders, tears dropping onto the white shirt Stiles had on the night before. John rushed Stiles to the hospital and had Melissa check him into a room immediately. 

Stiles had woken up two hours later, tubes hooked all throughout his body. His father was the first one in the room and held Stiles gingerly as the boy cried onto his father’s shoulder. His dad repeated the words like a plea. _“You’re fine.”_ And Stiles wondered if the words ever had any real meaning.

Derek had been 18 and a half when he dropped out of college to save Stiles. 

Derek got a first-class ticket back to California when his sister informed him of Stiles hospitalization caused by his own father. He had promised Laura that he’d go to community college and keep an eye on Stiles at the same time. Derek had snuck by the hospital around 1 am to see Stiles. He had found the boy’s room and when he got inside, Derek felt sick. Stiles had looked so fragile and lifeless that Derek ached to go to him and heal him, try to take some pain away. The boy had turned on his side and whined softly under his breath. Derek took a step closer and Stiles flinched before falling back asleep. Derek had been quieter when he walked over the sleeping boy and pressed a kiss to his forehead, just to let Stiles know that he had someone watching over him, protecting him. _“I know he’s not.”_ Derek repeated to himself, wanting to prove to his mate that he was loved.

Stiles was 16 when he went to his guidance counselor for the first time. 

The sunlight was streaming brightly through the window of the counselor’s joke of an office. It was just a desk, two chairs, and a computer, kind of a depressing place to help kids with depression. The counselor asked why he was there and he shrugged, there were just too many reasons to name and there was no way his counselor would keep up, or even care; Doctor Hale was probably only there for the money anyways. Doctor Hale asked again, why Stiles was there and if he was okay. Stiles had inhaled and exhaled sharply and said the words that have, by now, become less of a lie and more of an acceptance. _“I’m fine.”_

Derek had been 21 when he was offered the job as guidance counselor at his old high school.

He took the job to watch over Stiles and maybe help a few kids who felt alone along the way. He didn’t expect Stiles himself to come in for help. Derek had smiled at him and Stiles kept the same, stoic expression. Derek asked him question after question but Stiles just stared at him and shrugged his shoulders. Stiles claimed he had no idea why he was even there but Derek knew better, he knew everything, and someday he’d admit it to Stiles, he just had to get Stiles to admit it first. He asked Stiles if he was okay and Stiles nodded and said the words he’d been saying for 5 years. _“I’m fine.”_ That sentence, Derek noticed, had become Stiles answer to almost every question he was asked.

Derek could see the sadness in his eyes, hear the hopelessness in his voice, was drowning in the smell of despair cloaked over the boy in front of him. Before he could stop himself, he was reaching over the keyboard to link Stiles’ fingers with his own, making the boy look up at him. Stiles’ eyes had widened, as if with the touch, everything had become clear to him, making him recognize who Derek was. _“I know you’re not.”_ Derek said, rubbing his thumb over Stiles’ hand soothingly.

Stiles had been 16 when he visited his mother’s grave with his boyfriend, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. 

He placed them down on the ground in front and smiled through his tears. _“I’m fine.”_ Stiles told Derek. Stiles isn’t sure that “I’m fine” meant what it used to. But looking down at the flowers and holding Derek’s hand in his, Stiles wasn’t sure he wanted it to be.

Derek was 21 when Stiles had forgiven himself.

He stood with Stiles at his mother’s headstone and watched as Stiles had a silent conversation with his mom. Stiles promised him that he was fine, to which Derek replied, _“I know you are.”_ And saying those words, he knew everything was going to be okay.

Stiles had been 16 and a half when finally he knew he was going to be alright. 

Derek was 21 and a half when he finally got the one person he was going to be with forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Don't forget to comment and give kudos, my lovelies :)
> 
> Also check out my Tumblr, too! 
> 
> you-made-me-a-fighter.tumblr.com


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